My world is in that picture. And behind those smiles have been some tough moments. Moments that, at times, have made me question my sanity. Moments that my boys had to experience that pain me every time that I think about them. Moments that my daughter will miss out on because she won’t understand what “normal” is…ever. Moments like hearing that they’ve been told by a trusted adult that their Mom was the one that left their Dad. Or just the simple words that their parents were going to rock their world by divorcing. Thankfully though, years have past for the boys since those words were uttered and now the boys can’t smile big enough or laugh enough or spoil “their” little redhead enough and hopefully the cutest little redhead in the world will do the same.
I hate divorce.
It’s expensive and horrible.
It’s draining and horrible. (saying that 3 times for effect…intentionally…because it is that bad.)
And not worth it. (excluding abuse of any kind or cheating)
And in my opinion, the lazy person’s way out of a relationship.
But, it’s happened to me twice and it’s the most heart wrenching, nauseating, emotion-filled thing anyone will ever have to go through. I asked for the first divorce and the second was forced upon me, so I’ve been on both sides of the fence and the one feeling that I experienced that I never want anyone else to ever have to go through is feeling alone.
I had no clue what to do or how to start the divorce process, navigate emotions, or conquer finances. And I love to talk…so I started this blog, hoping to provide help to someone going through something like I have been through in addition to working through my emotions through my writing.
I hope that through this blog, if you are going through anything similar to my roller coaster, you may have a moment of strength and hope and maybe a few laughs (at my expense). Or if you are watching or supporting someone riding the roller coaster, that you’ll better understand the emotions tied to the exciting thrills and depressing downs that they will inevitably take.
Lastly, know that my heart is breaking for anyone that may be exposed to an abusive relationship. Regardless of what kind of abuse, none of it is ok. If you question if the relationship is healthy, it probably isn’t. Please reach out to someone, anyone, me, a friend, a co-worker, family, your church…just reach out. While it may seem scary to leave everything that you know, to change your children’s lives, to walk out and not have an income or savings or any possessions, I promise with everything that I have, that you will be thankful that you did it. It’s not going to be easy, but you will be more confident in your decision as each day goes by.